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Book Review - How People Grow

By Lisa M. Merry, M.A.

The book, How People Grow, written by John Townsend and Henry Cloud (2001), is about a path to wholeness, healing, and emotional and spiritual growth. Overall the authors contend that all counseling issues are spiritual growth issues. At the heart of growth is the "message of reconciliation." Although we have experienced sin and death through the fall of Adam and Eve, God seeks to bring all things back into relationship. "In salvation, and the growth process, God is reconciling things, bringing them back to the way they should be" (Cloud & Townsend, 2001, pg. 27).

For growth and reconciliation to happen, each person must recognize and admit their spiritual poverty, their powerlessness, and to learn how they can run to God instead of away from Him. Embracing suffering, recognizing the difference between therapeutic suffering and destructive suffering, accepting and working through grief, and balancing grace and truth, are all aspects of the spiritual growth process that accompany the life issues we each struggle with every day. We cannot heal on our own; we need God, each other, and support groups. "If people do not have a support system to attach to, they cannot grieve a good relationship that is lost or a bad one that they need to let go of. People also need the feedback and observations of others to learn from an experience and to contain all of their distortions and emotions" (Cloud & Townsend, 2001, pg. 121).

The authors do a very good job of proving their thesis, which is all growth is spiritual growth, and showing that there is no separate life of relational or emotional problems, and then your spiritual life, they are one (pg. 21). They are able to weave a biblical view of all life situations, Jesus' suffering and temptations, and the life giving applications from scripture that have been addressing these issues for thousands of years.

My favorite topics they address are about guilt, acceptance, honesty, and balancing grace with truth. "Grace that leads to true life transformation is one of unmerited favor—the understanding that God is truly for us and that he will provide what we cannot provide for ourselves" (Cloud & Townsend, 2001, pg. 78). I also appreciated the way they laid the foundation for spiritual growth and healing. They establish a need for God, that we were created for dependence on him and how this affects the aspects of repentance, faith, eternal life, and the work of the Holy Spirit. "If we do not live according to the foundations of the faith, we will have nothing secure to build upon. If we do not order our growth and the growth of the ones we minister to, according to these foundational things, we are building on quicksand" (Cloud & Townsend, 2001, pg. 59).

This book has further increased my knowledge about the role of suffering and grief. I was abused as a child, my mother was murdered when I was a teenager, and I made bad painful choices as a young adult. The authors talk about the difference between therapeutic suffering and destructive suffering. One involves a choice to endure pain, be it emotional or physical, in order to get well, such as in working out, surgery, and facing the pain of issues in counseling or recovery. The other is pain from life circumstances that were thrust upon us, such as abuse or death of loved ones (pg. 207).

This subject is very near to my heart as I write this paper. The most traumatic loss of my life was when my mother died. The extreme emotional and physical pain was overwhelming and as a baby Christian I ran away from God instead of to him.

Today, 25 years later, I just lost one of my best friends and brother in Christ, Carl. I have the same emotional and physical pain that I had when my mom died, but something is different. I have learned how to deal with grief in a healthier way. I have a support system to reach out to, I can be real and vulnerable with my feelings, and I can allow others to love me as I am. I have learned that there must be death in order to have life, and that God specializes in resurrections. I know that God has allowed suffering and grief in my life not only to grow me, but to have that knowledge and compassion for others, as Cloud (2001) says: Get to know God better, and take him and what you learn into every life situation you encounter. For then we believe, you will realize Jesus' promise: "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free" (Cloud & Townsend, 2001, pg. 362).

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Book Review - How People Grow