How Healed Do You Want to Be?

Life, it is said, has sharp edges.  It's no secret that for some these sharp edges include major reversals, catastrophes and tragedies.  Yet, even if we have been spared such ordeals we may still find ourselves struggling to deal with the inevitable hurts and wounds that go with daily living in this sharp-edged world.

One response to our dilemma is to simply play tough.  "I can handle it," we might say.  "Others have it worse."  Or we might refuse to admit that we hurt at all.  Rather than address the things that weigh us down and cause us pain, we may choose to push forward in the hope that no one will guess our secrets.  Some may choose to give up on having a life worth living at all, or hope against hope that things will just magically change on their own.  There are a lot of ways we might respond to the sharper side of life.

No matter which category we may find ourselves in today, I believe the question Jesus asked a lone disabled man some two thousand years ago still has the power to change our lives today.  To hear this question, let's go to a very remarkable place in the city of Jerusalem known as The Pool of Bethesda.

The Apostle John tells us in his gospel about a legend that had become attached to this particular place called Bethesda.  This legend attracted crowds of "last chance" sufferers who had come to the water's edge in hopes of receiving a rare and random miracle of healing.  John goes on to tell us of a particular day when Jesus came on that scene.  While there, He encountered a man who had lived for thirty-eight years without the use of his limbs.  Without any apparent preparation or warning, Jesus asked the disabled man a single question.

"Do you want to be healed?" 

Let's be frank: who would pose such a question to a man with a lifelong disability?  We all know that there is often a very large and sometimes cruel gap between what one may want and what life has forced him or her to accept.  After all; this man had spent the better part of four decades adjusting his existence to the fact that his limbs were of no use to him.  What would be the point of imagining his life any differently now?  Nevertheless, John's gospel puts us right in the center of this moment of tension and promise.   Is Jesus being rude?  Is He lacking in the social graces?  Or is it that He knows that this question can suddenly fling open a door of possibility that has long been closed and bolted?

Now put yourself in this picture.  What would you say to Jesus if He asked you such a startlingly direct question?  In other words, do you want to be healed?  The question calls for a simple "yes" or "no".

There was a time I felt like that man in the gospel story.  Although my disability was not physical in nature, it was very, very real to me.  Alarming circumstances beyond my control were threatening me and my family.  Someone I loved very much was in terrible pain and I could not make it stop.  Plans I had made were lying in shambles.  Dreams I had dreamed were on permanent hold.  The future I had imagined was in serious doubt.  Life had become a matter of routine and survival as one day blended into another.  I felt afraid.  I felt alone.  I felt as if the road I was on had come to a screeching halt in front of a brick wall posted with a sign that read: "This far, and no farther."

Have you ever felt like that?  Trapped?  Afraid?  Powerless?  Confused?  Then you know how the man in the gospel story felt; and how I felt at that time as well.  But while I was still in the thick of my own slow burn crisis; Jesus' question suddenly burst across the ages to find its target in my troubled heart.  "Bill", I heard Him say within, "do you want to be healed?"

It was a question that totally altered my perspective.  Up to that moment, I had not been praying for healing.  I had not been seeking for me to change.  Rather, I had been praying for my circumstances to change.  I was hoping for a better deal, not a better me.  But God is so much wiser.  He knew that changing circumstances could not bring about the changes I needed to undergo within.  He knew that I had been praying for a smoother road, a brighter set of prospects and a lighter load.  But He also knew that what I really needed was healing.  Without it, I could not truly be free nor could I help others find the freedom they needed.  Can you relate?

A Second Question

That day, I found myself responding to that timeless question of Jesus with a firm "yes."  I wanted His healing and I deeply desired to be made whole.  But to my surprise I sensed the Holy Spirit was calling me to consider a second question in that moment: "How healed do you want to be?"  This caused me to pause and reflect.  "You mean there's a choice?"  And, of course, I knew there was.  It's something we all know deep down.

Sometimes we think of healing as simply the removal of symptoms or pain.  While that can be an important component of healing, stopping there might cause us to settle for mere surface change.  If we pay attention, we might become aware that the healing God offers us in Christ actually goes far beyond the surface level of our lives.  It has the power to penetrate to the deep recesses of our being.  Healing is not only the removal of our injuries; it is also the repair of our wounds, the restoration of our losses, and the redemption of our lives.  It is even possible for the deeply healed to actually praise God for allowing us to go through the pains and losses if it is how they most profoundly came to know His healing, His character and His grace.  Saint Augustine put it this way: "In my deepest wound, I saw Your glory…and it dazzled me."

And so there are at least two key questions about healing that we must answer: 

"Do I want to be healed?" 

"How healed do I want to be?"

People who have allowed the Holy Spirit to do deep healing work in their lives are said to have been "transformed". Such people carry their healing beyond themselves into their circumstances, their friendships, their family relationships and so on -- to the very borders of their world and beyond. Often, their circumstances do begin to change because they have been changed (not the other way around).  If this vision of transformational healing is something you would like to see take place in your life, then it's time to decide today "how healed" do you want to be.

** William T. (Bill) Faris, M.P.C. is a Pastoral Counselor with Marriage & Family Matters / Counseling and sees clients in the Mission Viejo offices. 

1-800-449-9330

www.MFMCounseling.com