NewsletterJust provide your contact information to receive our newsletter! |
What Was Your 10 Today? - Parenting Series #2By Dr. Steven D. BagleyBecause families fall into patterns of not talking to each other at the dinner table or the conversations are usually negative, families end up eating separately or on the run. To break this pattern you need a plan that is easy for your youngest child to understand yet works well with senior adults. In other words, anyone can play! Parents need to decide to do this together so it is wise to discuss the idea in private and get each other's buy in, then announce it together to the kids. Give your children advance notice so they can think about what they want to say. The announcement could go something like, "Your Mom and I would like to start a new family tradition when all of us are together at the table for dinner. Each person gets to tell the family what was their 10 that day. Another way to say it is, "What was the best thing that happened during your day?" So be ready to share your 10 tonight when we are all together after we finish dinner." A few suggestions to get started well are: 1. Wait until everyone has finished eating the main course, then serve dessert (keep it a surprise) before asking, "What was your 10 today?" 2. Start with the oldest child first; parents go last. 3. If one child (Tommy) can't think of anything to share don't force the issue. Instead, turn to the others at the table and ask them if any of them observed Tommy laughing or smiling today. Let the others remind Tommy of something that he enjoyed that day. 4. If Tommy shares his 10 was watching the school bully get beat up. Don't go into ‘correction mode' about fighting, instead talk about the feelings we have when justice shows up. It is OK to say, "Tommy, tomorrow I would like to talk with you about when you think justice is needed and when we could be more compassionate." 5. Don't give up if you miss asking the 10 question. Traditions are established because you are willing to start again even when you fall off the horse. Get back on it and start again because you are committed to help your family become closer. Celebrate the 10's in your family's lives and watch them smile, maybe even laughter will break out at your dinner table. |
|
Marriage & Family Matters is committed to blending the best of psychology with solid Biblical principles through caring, professionally trained therapists. |
26431 Crown Valley Parkway, Suite #160 Mission Viejo, CA 92691 Call 1-800-449-9330 or Email Us |